alt-j:

wheelcher2:

alt-j:

how much water is too much water

15 water bottles can cause water intoxication and can lead to death

15 water bottles is too much water

tittily:

my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’

"My poor mother
begged for a sheep
but raised a wolf."

Michelle K., Four Rhythms. (via supersaskia)

imorca:

writeroost:

oroxine:

poyzn:

There is someone out there for everybody.

It just might be a goose.

relationship status: waiting for my one true goose

I cannot be the only one who heard a whisper of … Caryl…

(Source: realitytvgifs)

theladypipsqueak:

salparadisewasright:

theladypipsqueak:

MY MOM DECIDED THAT SINCE I FUCKING HATE CLEANING THE LITTERBOX FOR MY DUMB CATS SHE’S ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FUCKING LITTERBOX CAKE. THIS IS A FUCKING CAKE. THOSE ARE SLIGHTLY MELTED TOOTSIE ROLLS. THOSE ARE LOTS OF COOKIE CRUMBLES. BUT IT LOOKS FUCKING REAL. I ATE THIS IN A RESTAURANT. I RECIEVED WORRIED STARES FROM OTHER PATRONS AS I FEASTED UPON FUCKING CAT POOP. MY BABY SISTER REFUSED TO LET ME EAT THE TOOTSIE ROLLS BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED IT WAS POOP, SHE RIPPED IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND THREW IT BACK IT THE PAN.

"SISSY!" SOMEONE WAS LOOKING ON HORRIFIED AS SHE GRABBED THE DISTURBING LOOKING CANDY OUT OF MY HAND. "DONT EAT POOP SISSY!"

a li tter box cae k„

congratulations on turning 91

thanks

(Source: thesmuttypirate)

  • person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
  • me: nope
  • person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
  • me: i'm not